It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
