You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
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