My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
