Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm passing your future prison.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize