Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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