? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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