...so i touched it.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
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Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
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Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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