HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
