dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
