I accidentally had phone sex last night
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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