dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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