Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
