She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
