i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
