She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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