So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
