She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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