so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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