its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
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I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
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I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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