My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
