Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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