first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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