i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
