i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
