Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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