Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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