what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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