Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
