Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
