Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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