i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I lost the right to judge tonight
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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