I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
