Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
