not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
