I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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