So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
