Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
