I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
