Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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