Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
