tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
