Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
