i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
