Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
