I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
