i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
