Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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