I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
