So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
