I wannas sexs uuuuu
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
