The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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