New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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