How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
