This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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