this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
