We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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