It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
