3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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