I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
