Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
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because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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