Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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