You made me cry and you don't even care
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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