Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
