well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
