Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
