I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
wat bout pragnant strippers??
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
