My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
