I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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