Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
