Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Found the puke drawer
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
